Youtube Customer-Service Speak: Can You Go Even More Overboard…?

Customer service is all about ensuring customer satisfaction — even for an unsatisfactory (or flat-out bad) product or service. A certain “speak” has been developed as a tool for achieving just that, and users in the customer service and marketing industries have gone increasingly insane with the euphemisms they use, the phrases they develop, and their attempts to brush off legitimate complaints or concerns in order to make their product or service shine, no matter what…

Part of this is the “proud-speak” variant of language where these mercenaries of big or even not-so-big corporations boast their tremendous qualities, insights, and ingenuity for their product or service. Touting customer service dedication and 24/7 availability is, of course, a huge part of that (even as it’s most certainly not done out of compassion for the poor troubled customer, but for corporate greed and promotional reasons only). Google have now gone completely overboard. Topping it of, delivering the absolute maximum, the ultimate in claimed largesse, they apparently cannot help using the following paragraph as part of their instructions among YouTube help topics:

*Please note that flagged videos do not automatically get removed. We have trained internal teams, fluent in multiple languages, who carefully evaluate your flags 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year in time zones around the world.

Actually surprised they stopped short of intergalactic availability throughout multiple gravitational zones and solar systems, but they already manage topping the list of dumb claims and wordings by some margin! (Even if it should be true, although it isn’t, at least for the “trained” teams part as we all know how much these call-centre agents know — or don’t.)

Thank you YouTube. Apart from your latest rip-off policy changes in the YPP (YouTube Partner Program), the 2018 demonetization wave against small Channels and YouTube creators, it gives us additional stuff to talk and post about on our Blogs…